WE HAVE BEEN CHARGED BY GOD WITH A SACRED QUEST...

EVERY NOW AND THEN THE UNIVERSE OFFERS YOU THE CHANCE TO OWN AN OBJECT SO ABSOLUTELY ~ RARE ~ INTRIGUING ~ UNIQUE ~ IN ITS BEING THAT YOU WOULD BE A FOOL NOT TO PROCURE. 

THIS USUALLY HAPPENS ONCE IN A LIFETIME. THRICE  IF YOU’RE LUCKY...

CURRENCY DISCIPLES OFFER UP / TRADE FOR / PROFIT OFF / FLEX IN ONLY THE RAREST OF THE RAREST RAREST/ WEAR YOUR FLYEST SHIT EVERYDAY.

THE PORTAL TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH HAS BEEN OPENED — WILL YOU FIND YOUR WAY? 

> WATCH YOUR HEAD...